Sam Thomas
3 minutes length
Posted: 22nd May 2017

10 unusual excuses for not filing a tax return... Part I

“My husband ran off with my accountant…” and other excuses for missing the Self Assessment deadline

The 2017 Self Assessment tax return deadline is fast approaching, so to mark the occasion HMRC have revealed 10 unusual excuses they’ve received (and rejected) for not completing a return on time. 

For IRIS accountants and their clients, KashFlow makes Self Assessment easy (amongst many other things), eradicating any chance of being on the receiving end of HMRC fines and warnings come February 1st, or having to come up with one of the following reasons for missing the cut-off…

1. “My tax return was on my yacht…which caught fire.”

Where better to keep valuable documents than on the high seas?

Even if it’s plundered by pirates, it’s unlikely they’d be interested in paperwork, so there’s a smidgeon of logic behind it. (Just a smidgeon.)

But we’re still left wondering how the fire began…

Was it an accident? Or could it have been an arson attack by a less-successful competitor with yacht-envy whose seafaring exploits in 2016 were limited to dinghy hire in Rhyl?

2. “A wasp in my car caused me to have an accident and my tax return, which was inside, was destroyed.” 

This excuse raises more questions than it answers. Was the tax return inside the wasp or the car? If it’s the former, we’ll have to side with HMRC on this one.

3. “My wife helps me with my tax return, but she had a headache for ten days.”

The headache was likely brought on by the fact that her significant other seems incapable of completing their own tax return…

He or she should consider replacing their wife with KashFlow, which can process Self Assessment tax returns on their behalf and comes with a no-headache guarantee.

4. “My dog ate my tax return…and all of the reminders.”

It’s a classic, but it’s safe to say that this excuse should have been retired long ago.

The ‘reminders’ part is especially interesting, considering that they’re now sent in the form of inedible emails.

Maybe they were referring to a virtual dog that lives inside their computer? Perhaps a rogue Tamagotchi went berserk and feasted on their hard drive while they were at work. It could happen.

Accountants can eliminate the likelihood of such an event and take total control of your clients’ documents by using secure online storage.

IRIS OpenSpace is free to use, and its benefits include:

  • Upload and store documents online
  • Unlimited electronic approvals
  • High level security – only you and your client can view documents
  • Full integration with the IRIS Accountancy Suite and IRIS Payroll Solutions
  • 1GB of complimentary storage space
  • Certified dog-free zone
5. “I couldn’t complete my tax return because my husband left me and took our accountant with him. I am currently trying to find a new accountant.”

It’s universally accepted that accountants ooze sex appeal (an odd turn of phrase given that “ooze” is arguably the least sexy word in the English language…), so in many ways this revelation comes as no surprise. But the least the offending couple could have done was complete the tax return before saying bon voyage.

Incidentally, when you sign up to the IRIS KashFlow Partner Programme you get a free listing in our Accountant Directory, which is the highest ranking result of a Google search for ‘find an accountant’. Sign up. Get noticed.

We’ll be passing judgement on the final five excuses next week. For now, why not take a look around our virtual KashFlow showroom to see how easy KashFlow makes the self-assessment process?

KashFlow grants you complete financial visibility of client relationships, increases productivity levels, opens up new opportunities for collaboration and rewards you with unrivalled access to training, marketing materials, expert support and advice.

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