Sam Thomas
2 minutes length
Posted: 1st April 2016

BREAKING: HMRC Reveal New Tax Exemption

Leaked internal HMRC email leaves many in the tax sphere bewildered…

The leaked correspondence contains the revelation that popular 1990’s TV “entity” Mr. Blobby has been granted full tax-exempt status in the UK by Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs.

This morning, we spoke to 45 year old HMRC employee Donal McGiven of 12 Hampton Way, Golders Green. McGiven, who agreed to speak to us strictly under the promise of anonymity, revealed that the decision had been made after careful thought and consideration based on Blobby’s previous charitable work and because of what he describes as a “special relationship” between Blobby and the powers that be at Whitehall.

When our investigative reporter suggested that Mr. Blobby was a fictional character, long-retired, McGiven merely shrugged his shoulders and skipped away towards the Thames. The reporter noted that Mr. McGiven didn’t appear to be wearing any shoes.

“Baffled.”

For the most part, the news has been met with stern criticism. Leading tax expert Bill Nebberson admitted that when he was alerted to the news late last night he was “utterly baffled, but not strictly surprised.” When pushed to elaborate, he began mumbling something about “dark forces at work” and that he was “missing the second half of Storage Hunters”. The call ended soon after.

Clearly, something is afoot. But not everybody has pooh-poohed the idea…

Arise, Sir Blobby?

A CEO at one of the Big Four has reputedly claimed that the status is “well overdue” and queried the logic behind “not yet awarding a knighthood to our pink and yellow Messiah.” What exactly the CEO meant by this bizarre final comment is unknown, though rumblings of a Blobby cult spearheaded by Tony Blackburn have been circulating for several decades.

Blobby himself has been in hiding since the announcement. All attempts to contact him have been fruitless; nobody has been answering his door and calling his phone goes straight to voicemail, where a lone voice can be heard to utter three, cryptic words: “Blobby blob. Blobby.”

Noel Edmonds was unavailable for comment.

Further updates as and when we receive them…